The fat man said: If everyone is equal then anyone is equal. I can be anyone without true repercussions. The polity may hate me, and I may join them, but I will still be worth the same. They can’t take away my vote, not even if I let myself go and allow a slovenly nature to erupt in my skin. Despite the screaming social and psychic forces, equality will preserve me. I will find a champion of the social spirit who will advocate for me, and only at the price of a book or an ad. They will reassure me as they exert force on the polity, announcing the worth of my wretched existence. The polity always becomes weary and its will to resist caves in. I will be able to confidently be, and a new generation will see me and imitate me and flatter me and confirm me in the light of decent sight. Decency! I long for decency, for acceptance of my unfortunate eruption! And you may blame me, hate me specifically, but that’s only your prejudice. We’re all adrift in a flood of decency that has long been debased by equality. Long live equality! Level us in the squalor! And aren’t I the true genius, the man who understands and embodies this age?
To see the delusions that created you, made you that hobbled mess that drools from stimuli to stimuli, fall dead on the floor at the accidental pop of the gun you thought was a toy is to feel a mixture of joy and horror. The spine does not know whether to straighten out or scrunch closer to the hollow ground. Satisfaction and stress fight deadly skirmishes in every nerve ending, conscripting your attention and energy. Reality stares you hard in the face as the father who has removed the mask hiding his disappointment, the mask that you painted, that he wore for you as a favor to your mother.
Fleshiness is liable to become sickening and the manic sounds made by our beloved modern-day-Americans will assault you like neon lights stab a highly sensitized woman suffering from migraines. This state of neuro-paralysis strikes like hammer on bone because your will is but a thin membrane – underdeveloped compared to the muscle of historic Man and your neighbor Chad (and his gay little brother who you actually want). Those delusions made you weak – did you really think that they were free? Their price was your virility.
Will you return?
I have become a walking death
And I do not know my name.